Conflict Resolution – You Got to Know When to Hold Them, Know When to Fold Them!

What does leadership look like?  It’s bold and decisive!  How should leaders deal with conflict?  Never walk away from a fight!

I’ve coached many managers who live and die by this philosophy.  They are generally outgoing individuals who want results and they say what they mean. They also have a record of accomplishment to back up their approach to leadership. Along the way however as they take on more responsibility and staff, they begin to encounter interpersonal problems with their employees, peers, and maybe even their bosses. These problems affect organizational productivity.

Why does this occur?  This happens because their strengths have become a liability as they use only one leadership style for conflict resolution. No matter what situation they face their approach is always the same. They are always bold, decisive and frank. They are always unwilling to yield to others in conflict situations. For a leader, this is a problem.  There is such a thing as too much of a good thing!

While leadership is often bold and decisive, there are times when leaders need to be cautious and wait before acting.  While acknowledging and dealing with conflict is often desirable, there are some times when leaders need to avoid conflict altogether. Said another way: they do best to leave well enough alone. 

To be honest, this is usually hard medicine for these leaders to take. They are not accustomed to giving in to others on anything—nor do they like holding their tongue. Wise leadership is adaptable leadership, however. As I tell these leaders, you know it is time for you to avoid conflict* when . . .

    • you need more information before taking action.
    • other people are better able to handle the conflict.
    • you have little chance of prevailing.
    • pushing to have your way will create more harm than good.
    • the issue is really not that important.
    • the emotions of those involved are too high and people need to calm down before they can work productively with each other.
Quick, bold, and decisive leadership is often needed. Like every other leadership action, however, this style has its limitations. Sometimes leaders need to avoid conflict and wave the white flag of surrender! Leaders only need to listen to Kenny Rogers for this wisdom:

[br]

You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

— Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

* Reference: Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument

Written by Robert Tanner | Copyrighted Material | All Rights Reserved Worldwide

This article is accurate to the best of the author’s knowledge.
Content is for informational or educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional advice in business, management, legal, or human resource matters.

Robert Tanner, MBA

Welcome to my leadership blog. I'm the Founder & Principal Consultant of Business Consulting Solutions LLC, a certified practitioner of psychometric assessments, and a former Adjunct Professor of Management. As a leadership professional, I bring 20+ years of real world experience at all levels of management.

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