Organizational leaders often promote managers because of their technical skills. Having technical skills does not mean one has people skills, however.

Organizational turnover, poor morale, absenteeism, organizational conflicts, worker sabotage, and worker indifference are all employee symptoms that come from managers who lack people skills.

This raises an interesting question!

Specifically, are people skills born or made?

The truth is that both views are correct.

Some individuals are naturally better at working with people. They excel at getting the best out of people. It is also true, however, that anyone can improve his/her people skills with time and effort.

How to Improve Your People Skills

So, what do you do if you as a manager find (as I once did) that you need to work on your people skills?

The good news is that there are six actionable steps that you can take to improve your people skills.

They are as follows:

Acknowledge Areas of Improvement

Your ability to improve your people skills begins with accepting that not all of the problems you are experiencing in the workplace is the fault of someone else.  Without this acknowledgment, you cannot become better in your interactions with other people.

This ability to look critically at one’s own actions is self-awareness and self-awareness is critical to effective leadership.

It is true that you are not responsible for every failed people interaction that you encounter in the workplace. It is also true, however, that you cannot fault the other party for every failed people interaction. Sometimes we’re right and sometimes we’re wrong!

Taking responsibility for your shortcomings can be the first and hardest step to improving your people skills, but it is a critical step.

Commit to Improving One’s People Skills 

Once you admit your deficiencies in a certain area, you have to commit to doing whatever it takes to change your performance. You have to commit to changing how you interact with your team.

Some managers will not make the emotional and time investments that will bring this change, however.  You’ve probably known a manager like this sometime in your career.

No matter what occurs in their workplace this manager always identifies someone else as the cause of the problem. For this manager, it’s easier for him or her to blame someone else. This manager lacks the emotional intelligence to take responsibility for their own contributions to failed people interactions.

Changing your interpersonal style takes patience as you have to unlearn certain behavior and adopt other new behaviors that you are not used to using. For example,

Once you commit to changing, the process of improving your people skills becomes easier.

Attend Quality Management Training Seminars

Taking quality internal and external training can provide you with critical knowledge that you need to develop your people skills.

All training is not created equal however. I’ll talk about external training (training you identify outside of your organization) first.

Effective external training seminars will offer well developed activities within the seminar to practice key skills. It will also have a practical focus that explains how the training content can be applied to real world situations. These two elements of effective training are important for adult learning.

First, as adults we must evaluate new information for its relevance to our own situation. Second, we need chances to apply what we are learning to our real world challenges.

There’s another reason why well-designed external management and leadership training can be effective in improving your people skills. Sometimes you need a non-threatening vehicle to work on your people skills.

Taking the training outside the workplace allows you this confidentiality. In this setting, you may find it easier to experiment and be more open about your deficiencies without fear of someone in your organization holding your admissions against you.

Well-designed internal management training (offered by your organization or someone hired by your organization) can also be effective in improving your people skills. Effective internal training will be delivered by people who understand your company’s culture and challenges and who are able to tailor the content and activities to the real issues that you face in your role. When this occurs, effective transfer of training occurs. This allows you to obtain a maximum return on your time investment.

For example, if your organization offers internal assessment center training, this approach can be highly effective in improving your people skills. With this training, you have the opportunity to demonstrate and role-play real world managerial and leadership duties. Next, objective and seasoned leaders in your organization will evaluate your performance and provide you with feedback on the strengths and weaknesses of your people skills.

Keep in mind however that only you can evaluate how transparent you can be in internal training settings. In my own mangement journey to improve my people skills, I found a blend of internal and external training to be the most helpful.

Take a Behavioral Assessment

Behavioral assessments (psychometric tests) such as Myers-Briggs®, DISC behavioral profiles, and the TKI Conflict Mode Instrument® are great tools for improving your people skills. They allow you to get an unbiased assessment of your people skills.

These assessments can provide insights in areas such as personality styles, communication, conflict-resolution, motivation, team building, and other areas. The key to getting the maximum benefit from assessments is to use training and development professionals who are professionally certified to administer these instruments.

Unfortunately, the misuse of assessment tools can bring further confusion to the workplace as it can lead to inappropriate labeling and avoidance activities in the workplace. (For example, that person is a “X” so I cannot work effectively with them or trust them.)

A professional who is certified in the use of psychological type assessments knows the importance of providing a coaching session with the instrument.  An effective coaching session (individual or group) will provide you with the insights to move from inappropriate labeling to learning how to adapt your interpersonal style.

With the advances of the Internet, many of these assessments and a follow-up coaching session can be taken confidentially online.  So, it is no longer important where you live! This information is available to everyone.  You can take the assessment from any certified professional who offers these services online.

Find a Business Mentor

King Solomon had a proverb that said if you want to be wise, walk with the wise.

Finding a management mentor who exemplifies “effective people-skills” is highly effective for improving your people skills. The additional benefit of this approach is that it lets you get feedback from someone with proven abilities in this area.

Don’t wait for someone to volunteer to be your mentor, though! Often, finding a mentor is as simple as asking a leader you respect to be your mentor.

You may be thinking that most senior leaders will say no. My experience tells me otherwise.

Many years ago, I asked a Vice President to be my mentor and he readily accepted. Being able to talk to him as a young manager was invaluable to improving my people skills.

I’ve also had many managers (to whom I have given this advice) tell me that they were also successful in getting a manager to mentor them. If you are courteous, respect your mentor’s limited time, and refrain from exploiting your relationship with her/him, you will find an individual who can be invaluable in helping you to improve your people skills.

Finally, don’t forget that a picture is worth a thousand words!

Go to work with your mentor and observe them in action if you can. Just seeing an effective leader in action can be a people-skills changing experience for you!

Be Receptive to all Feedback—Especially Negative Feedback

It’s important to listen to your organization for feedback about your performance. This feedback is always present if you are willing to listen to it.

It can come through formal sources such as organizational climate surveys, 360-degree performance appraisal feedback, the use of external or internal consultants, and other methods.

Even better, you can create an environment of continual informal feedback by making it acceptable for others (particularly your employees) to disagree with you. Allow and encourage them to present alternate views or to bring bad news to you. If you do this, without punishing your employees in any way, you will receive invaluable help.

Finally, if you keep hearing the same feedback from very different people about your interaction style, you should seriously evaluate what others are telling you. There is likely some truth to these diverse perceptions.

Leaders with people skills have learned the value of (1) listening to others and (2) seriously considering all feedback that they receive (even the negative feedback).

If you Need Help With Your People Skills, Don’t Despair. There is Hope!

If you’re reading this and thinking that this is a convenient post from a professional who offers training and development services, let me assure you that it is not. I was once a manager who was promoted for my technical skills without any regard for my then under-developed people skills. I know from my own management and leadership journey that managers can improve their people skills!

So, if you weren’t a born leader, you do not have to give up! You can develop your people skills.

The truth is that we can always improve if we acknowledge the areas where we are lacking and commit to an action plan to perform better.