I can hear some of you now! Bad bosses are your best friends? Really, Robert? Did you run out of blog article titles on this one? 

Stay with me on this one because it is true. If you let them, bad bosses can be your best friends in the workplace. Shortly, I’ll provide three reasons why bad bosses are your best friends.  But, for now, let’s explore this phenomenon of bosses in our lives.

There’s no escaping bosses! You come in the world and you have adults telling you what you can and cannot do. You grow up and it is still the same.  In fact, anyone who has continuing power over you to direct your efforts is a boss of sorts. It’s wonderful when these bosses who have this power over you are effective at managing and leading. It’s hell when they are not!

As I work with managers (particularly middle managers), I find their struggles with the people side of the business are often in relation to their senior bosses not their work teams. With a measure of emotional intelligence and self-awareness, however, managers can take back some of the power from their bad bosses.

One way to deal with a difficult boss is to change your perspective. You can find their value! Here are three reasons why bad bosses are your best friends:

1. Bad Bosses are Excellent Teachers!

Bad bosses stay with you. You remember how they made you feel when they were unengaged, arbitrary, or abusive. Because how they treated you stays with you, bad bosses are great teachers if you are willing to learn from them. Bad bosses teach you how not to be as a manager and leader. They make you promise that you will not do to others what your bad boss did to you.

As an exercise, try this: identify a negative attribute about your boss that you did not like. Make a statement or two that describes the behavior. Next take your statements and turn them into positive attribute statements. Do enough of these statements about your bad boss(es) and you’ll have a list of actionable steps that you can take to improve your own development. Here’s an example a middle manager might have:

Negative Attribute Statements: I did not like the way my boss handled conflict in his department. He never resolved any of the pressing issues that we had.

Positive Attribute Statements: I will give my managers the support they need. I won’t put off making difficult decisions when it’s time to do so. This is my job!

2. Bad Bosses Inspire You to Make Needed Change

Bad bosses stay with you. You remember how they made you feel when they were unengaged, arbitrary, or abusive.  Because their actions stay with you, they can inspire you to make needed change if you are willing to do so.

I once coached a talented middle manager, Karen who was having problems in her organization. Karen had a manager reporting to her who wanted her job and Karen had a boss who was intimidated by her skills. They both allied against her and made her life difficult. Karen came to the conclusion that she needed to move elsewhere so she strategically positioned herself in her organization to get a better position. She made the change and she did well in her new role.

In reality, Karen needed to make the change long before she did.  She was working for a boss who would never support her because he was too insecure. Karen was also highly skilled and she should have been doing more in the organization. In a sense, Karen’s boss did her a favor.

As an exercise, try this: ask yourself what changes you need to make.  Maybe you should learn new skills or complete your education. Maybe you should get another job OR maybe you need to stand up for yourself appropriately with your boss and keep your job. Only you can make the decision about what is best for your career. Use your present situation to evaluate what is in your best interests. A bad boss can inspire you to make needed change!

 3. Bad Bosses Improve Your Skills

Bad bosses stay with you. You remember how they made you feel when they were unengaged, arbitrary, or abusive.  Because your relationship with your boss is not the best, bad bosses force you to improve your skills if you are willing to do so.

Let’s face it; you do not have much room for error when your relationship with your boss is bad. Having a bad boss forces you to do your best work, learn new skills, and navigate organizational politics. You are in survival mode and you’ll have to watch your own back. You’ll need to take away from your boss any legitimate criticisms about your performance.

As an exercise, try this: identify your areas of performance that legitimately need further development. You probably know mostly what they are.  Get feedback from someone who you know wants the best for you as well. They can identify any blind spots. With this list, make the needed changes.

Take some of the power back from your bad boss. To do so, you’ll have to make lemonade out of lemons. You’ll also need to look at your bad boss from another perspective. Let him/her teach you how to manage and lead, inspire you to make needed change, and prompt you to improve your skills.

Bad bosses can be your best friend!